A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
A Republian: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
A Libertarian: You have two cows. You do what you want, they are your cows?
A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. and sell the milk at a competitive price.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
FRENCH: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
JAPANESE: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
GERMAN: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
CHINESE: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.
ARKANSAS: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
Difference Between business Owners and Democrats
A business Owner and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The business Owner gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.
The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the business Owner pocket and gave the homeless person fifty dollars.